The end of this chapter

When I started this blog, right after I had received Oscar’s referral, I am sure I never imagined that I would still be posting on it three years later.  It’s seen me through the wait for Oscar’s I-600 approval, a trip to Vietnam to adopt a child I did not know I would be able to bring into the United States, a fairly serious bout of post-adoption depression, my attachment problem, Oscar’s diagnosis of his eye condition and the possibility of him losing his sight, the discovery of his brain anomaly and the questions that has raised, my search for my Etta, through false attempts in Thailand and Nepal, seeing her photo for the first time, waiting (a very short time) for her court date and bringing her to our family’s home, our family’s struggle to fit together, the demise of my career since becoming a mom, Oscar’s struggles to communicate and overcome the first few months of his life and finally our life as a family of three.

I’ve attempted to morph this blog into our family photo album, but for some reason, this always feels like my adoption blog and, while adoption will always be a component of our lives, it’s no longer the primary focus.  Given that, I’ve decided that the time for this blog has come to an end.

I will be blogging about our family at from now on, and I’d love to have you join us.  If you prefer not to make the move with us, though, I understand. I sincerely thank you for the support you’ve provided these past years.  I’ve truly enjoyed getting to know you (virtually, in many cases) and wish you all the very best.  And, if you’re an adoptive family, my feelings of ambivalence of blogging here do not extend to your blogs.  I will be continuing to stalk you regardless of my URL.


Something New, But Surprisingly Free

As I bundled together yet another enormous bag full of ridiculously adorable baby clothes (most worn only 2-3 times) from Miss Etta’s jam-packed walk-in closet, I had a revelation.  I think I could save a considerable amount of money if I did not buy anything for a month.  I mean, what’s the worst thing that could happen if I didn’t buy anything for a month?

My breathing just seized up there for a second thinking of it, but how bad would it be, really?  I used to go for extremely long periods of time without buying anything just because I didn’t have any money to spend.  I think I could do it again. . . right?  I mean, it is possible to not spend money even though you have it available, isn’t it?

Well, I’m going to do it.  Starting right now, I am freezing my bank accounts.  The only exceptions will be (a) food staples for home use but no treats (other than one for each of the kids once per week), (b) absolutely necessary household cleaners (and none of the fancy ones I think I need), (c) payment of bills, taxes, etc., (d) diapers, (e) one tank of gas (it goes a looong way when you have a Mini), (f) my hair appointment on Friday (I’d cancel, but I haven’t been in 12 weeks and my root problem should not be seen by potential employers) and (g) possibly renting a car for our trip to Kauai.  That’s it.

Know what that means?  I’m not buying anything else.  That means all of those enticing sale emails I get each and every morning from zulily, gilt, hautelook, theminisocial, onekingslane and on and on are going to be deleted.  Yeah, I said deleted.  Without reading. 

I’m not going to tantalize myself with the knowledge of the amazing deals I’m missing out on or the adorable little dresses Etta could have had for a bargain price.  Why?  Because Etta has more adorable bargain dresses than any girl needs.  And Oscar needs nothing else from Mini Boden, even with the 20% off coupon I can feel calling me from my inbox.  He’s good.  Even more importantly, I’M good.  He doesn’t really need that Mini Cooper convertible ride-on that’s $50 off.  Seriously, he doesn’t need it.  He can learn to ride that bike I got him last year that he doesn’t touch.

I’m not going to permit myself to purchase anything for me, either.  That includes photography workshops, camera equipment and software.  Oh, and camera bags.  Someday soon I’ll share my recent acquisitions with you, but until then, let’s just say I don’t need to be shopping either.

So, there it is.  Wish me luck.  I’m going to need it.

4:10 – Kiss My Fat @$$ Goodbye

So much for thinking I totally shot myself in the foot with last week’s slip.  I’m down another 2.3 pounds!  I suspect it has to do with the fact that I was extra vigilent after my little lapse, and that I actually exercised (walking the kids) at least two times without even letting myself entertain the idea of eating additional calories as a *reward*.

I’m down 10.8 pounds since starting this project, which I think is fantastic.  I don’t think I can keep up this pace, though.  I know my body, and looking at the period when I lost the “real” weight I needed to lose, once I get to this point, my body starts shutting down a bit and I need to seriously curtail my intake to keep losing at a 2 pound a week level.  That’s not going to happen, though, since the last time I did that, I sort of lost about half of my hair.  Luckily, I have crazy thick hair, but I think I’ll try to keep this on a more even keel.  I’d like my butt and my hair to look good at the end of this.  Is that too much to ask?

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3:10 – Kiss My Fat @$$ Goodbye

I am shocked.  I managed to lose 2 additional pounds last week.  Unfortunately, there is no way I’ll see the same results this week, cuz I sort of already shot myself in the foot.  I’m not entirely sure how or why it happened, but somehow I fell off the no carb wagon for about a 24 hour period.  A chocolate chip cookie was involved, which I now know acts the same as a gateway drug for me.  Not good.  Let’s hope I can turn it around. . .

Our big fancy dinner

Attempting to expand our culinary horizons past establishments that include a drive-through, the kids and I went out for barbeque.  C’mon, what did you expect?

They did pretty well, although Etta did attempt to break out of her highchair at least a dozen times.  We had to make a hasty departure, though, when Oscar decided we were finished and attempted (twice) to make an escape with other customers.  We’ll try again next week to see if we can manage to complete a meal in one sitting.

52 Days

We’ll be here . . .

Sort of.  We’ll first be on the south side of the island for two nights, but then will move up to the north where this photo was taken (on a *film* camera).

52 days seems like an eternity right now.


Now that Oscar can see, he’s become much more focused on the details of the world.  The other day he saw an eyelash on his hand after looking at me blankly when I told him to blow on it and make a wish, he reached down and did it.  Doesn’t look like a typical blowing motion, I know, but that’s one of those signs of apraxia the therapists keep seeing.  Still wondering what he wished for.

Cranky Etta

Etta has had a craptacular week.  She had four vaccinations on Monday and she’s erupting a least two of her two-year molars.  She’s been so uncomfortable that she hasn’t even eaten very much (unbelievable for my girl).  She also hasn’t been in the mood in the past week or so to allow me anywhere near her with a camera, but since when do I ask permission?

2:10 – Project Kiss My Fat @$$ Goodbye

Another good week on the weightloss front.  I lost 2.5 pounds (6.5 pounds in two weeks, I think), which is more than I had expected.  I’m starting to think that I need to begin lifting some sort of weights, though.  Even if I lose a huge amount of weight, it’s not going to change the fact that my arms do not look the way I want them to. 

You know those women with “mom arms”?  I’m not one of them.  I thought that by having a mom and carrying my kids around I would get nicely defined arms (to some extent), but that just has not happened.  I’m definitely stronger than I was when I didn’t have kids.  I mean, how often did I tote 25-31 pounds around on a regular basis?  I don’t think I could have imagined carrying 56 pounds at all, but I do that a lot, too, and I don’t think anything of it.  Actually, that’s not true, I think “OMG, why am I carrying both of them?  Get off me, get off me, get off me.” 

I suspect that I’ll never have the toned arms I want, but I’ll see what I can get by doing some curls using Etta (I tried yesterday using Oscar but he’s just too tall).

Could the boy be cuter?

Waiting patiently for his breakfast at McDonalds.

1:10 – Project Kiss My Fat @$$ Goodbye

Inspired by the success of Meg at Vicarious Cuteness and far more (sadly) by the fear of prospective humiliation, I have decided to put the next weeks before our trip toKauai to good use.  I want to be able to walk to the pool and beach without worrying that the poor people around me will have to avert their eyes to avoid the image of jigglyness.  Given that, I have re-dedicated myself to losing these last pounds that have eluded me.

I lost a little over 4 pounds last week, which was likely just the result of my getting rid of bad carbs, but we’ll see if I can do at least half as well this week.  This is entirely a vanity project.  I’m already at a weight that my doctors consider to be appropriate, so I’m not looking for support, etc.  I just thought that if I made myself post my results, I would be far less likely to do anything that could derail me.  We’ll see . . .